The End.

(for now)

A few years ago, I decided it was time to concentrate on turning my creative dream, which I had been chasing for over twenty years, into a reality. I wanted to open a studio space for screen printing, painting, and other handmade projects. This space would also hold screen-printing workshops and serve as a gallery for exhibitions. I began to work on the business plan, saving money and gathering resources. Then, in March 2024, I was laid off from my job as a creative director "for the financial health of the company."

Being laid off may be a minor setback to outsiders, but anyone in my industry will tell you it was likely a career-ending event. Over the past 15 years, there has been a trend to undervalue experience and specialized skills in favor of cheaper resources to maximize short-term profits. I've faced added challenges of ageism and job-replacing technologies like AI, which have pushed me out of a career I spent 27 years building.

So it felt like a miracle when an old friend's son commissioned me to create artwork for his apartment. During our meetings, I shared the business plan I had been working on, and he became excited and wanted to finance the project. I couldn't believe my good luck. I reworked the plan and presented it; we started looking for studio space for summer 2024.

I felt desperate because I hadn't found work, and my unemployment benefits ran out. Despite this, I remained hopeful. Then, without warning, my investor stopped communicating with me and refused to answer any of my emails or messages. With my unemployment exhausted and unable to land an interview, I had to sell some of my music gear and collectibles to make it through the holiday season. This situation left me feeling isolated and depressed.

I felt stuck, unable to progress without the necessary space, money, and resources. In a last-ditch effort, I launched a print-on-demand t-shirt business to generate some extra income and start building a foundation. I hadn't completely given up on my dream yet. I had to rely on word of mouth and grassroots marketing without money to market and promote the products properly. Unfortunately, this business did not resonate with people, and I failed to find its audience.

As the first anniversary of losing my job approaches, it is time to quit pursuing this dream officially. Beyond the hurdles of money and resources, I don't have the energy and strength to take more punches. I always felt that I needed some outside help from someone who believed in me as much as I believed in myself. However, at this point, I don't know how much I truly believe in myself.

I will occasionally post new artwork to the Instagram account because it is not in my nature to quit making art altogether, but that will be the extent of it. I will be eternally grateful to those of you who have supported me in the past. Without your help, I could have never made it this far and held onto the dream for this long. I will now have to carry the weight of sadness that comes with regretting what might have been.

I wish you all the best, love, peace, and happiness.